Cross-Country Pursuer

I am on a cross-country drive. I have stopped somewhere in the Midwest to visit friends. After I'm done there I have a stop in Kansas and then it's on to Colorado for a long visit with all my old friends. I go to the company where they all work together. My friend R is leaving the parking lot with a car full of friends just when I'm leaving. I ask if anyone wants to ride with me, and then they can show me the way. Two guys volunteer. We go around the building to the parking lot, but I can't find my truck. We go into a parking garage looking for it even though I know I parked outside. The parking garage is full of twists and turns and doesn't really make much sense. I am still in the structure, but I'm now following narrow passages and stairways trying to escape from someone following me. The building is now at a school, but I'm not sure what it's for. I stumble upon an abandoned room where someone has set up house, but I know they're just squatting, probably unable to afford a "real" place to live, but they've done a great job of making this hidden space comfortable. I continue running from my pursuer, a burly man who seems always just a half step behind me. I push through ceiling tiles, I open doors I don't go through to trick him, I can't ever seem to get a good lead. At some point I realize I'm dreaming and decide to change the dream, but I have a difficult time of it and eventually just wake up.

Note: As a long time nightmare sufferer, I finally taught myself to change the tenor of dreams in college. I got quite good at it. Unfortunately my skills are a bit rusty since I no longer have as many nightmares (but that's a good thing).

The Boat Party

I start out at school studying. I'm afraid my notebooks won't fit in my backpack, but they do. Then as I'm heading to a New Year's Eve party, I meet up with some guys I know in a band. We're in a gym. There's a vampire with a meat hook in his shoulder in the pool. We pull him out and remove the meat hook, but he's in bad shape having lost so much blood in the pool. He wants to feed off of me, but I'm afraid. The guys promise to pull him off if he doesn't behave. I let the vamp feed off of my wrist. Afterwards I ask the guys if they're going to the New Year's Eve party. It's being given by my friend J and his roommate who live on a boat in the harbor. The guys weren't even invited. Turns out there's some sort of rift between them and the roommate. I don't ask specifics since no one seems to want to talk about it. I walk to the harbor with my stuffed backpack. When I get close to the boat I notice lots of people wearing robot-ish costumes, and I wonder if I missed that memo. There is line to get on the boat. J isn't anywhere close to the door, but his roommate is. I ask the roommate to take me to J's room so I can stash my backpack. He's delighted to show me around even after I've gotten rid of the backpack. The boat is huge. He shows me the deck in the back where people are toking up. At the front of the boat, I see my recent ex-boyfriend with his brother. They're having a great time. I'm instantly sad. I go to the deck in back although I don't smoke. I just sit and eat munchies with the few people already there. My ex walks through on his way somewhere else and notices a young boy sitting along. He tells the boy that he can cure him. The boy has some sort of congenital illness that makes him small and will shorten his life considerably. My ex tells him even if he's not cured, he'll certainly live a much longer life if the boy allows him to help. The boy agrees. My ex climbs on the boy's chair, gets very close to his face, and then proceeds to lick his forehead. The connection is felt by everyone in the room. The two of them shake with the energy. My ex's eyes begin to roll into the back of his head, and I know that something is wrong, that's he's gone too far. I'm screaming at him to stop. He finally pulls away and falls to the floor in a faint.

Flooded Beach

I am living in a small shack on the beach of an island with my toddler. We came for a vacation and never left. My toddler pulls me outside to point at the horizon where a storm is building. I walk to the store to get a few things before it comes in. I need a refill on my antidepressants, but the woman at the store can't open the pharmacy, and the pharmacist is gone. I wonder how I'll get through the next few days without it. Then I watch with building horror as the woman starts shuttering things to lock up for the storm. It finally occurs to me that our little shack on the beach will not survive what is coming. My toddler and I take refuge with the family who owns the store. They live on the 2nd and 3rd floors of the building, and it is partway up a hill from the beach. The water comes into the house anyway and keeps rising. We escape with the family, who have 2 preteen sons, out the attic, scrambling up the rest of the hill. We walk across the flat, mesa-like hill while water pours down and swirls around us. When we get to the other side, we see that the beach town there is sitting under blue skies. When the water has gone, we go back to the family's house, and we move in with them.

Then I'm suddenly a man, and my child is preteen girl. I claim to be a novelist, but I am working at the other village making and painting ceramics. I'm very brooding. My daughter sneaks out of our rooms in the house one night and goes to meet one of the young men in his bedroom. I catch her there and yell about how I've given her everything and this is how she repays me. I pull out a large case that, as the observer, I am scared contains a gun, but it is some sort of giant compass. I need it to write. I have realized that I have created this situation by refusing to write, and now it's my job to fix it.

A Whiter Smile

While visiting my parents, I come across a bottle of tooth whitening powder in the bathroom. It belongs to my brother. It claims to work in one application. I dip my finger in the powder and scrub my teeth with it. It does work, leaving my teeth noticably whiter. It also makes my gums bleed quite a bit.

Note: I had a Freudian psychotherapist once who told me that dreaming about losing teeth is a castration issue.

Weddings and Lions

I am getting married to a wonderful man. He was previously married to my sister or close friend, who, in a fit of crazy, lopped off most of his wanker. This doesn't seem to be a problem in our relationship. My mother has been making me a suit to wear for the wedding. The skirt is made out of a Halloween print on a purple background. I am busy sewing trim onto the sleeves of the jacket when I see my bridesmaids. They are wearing long, elegant dresses (irl, the dress I'll be wearing for my cousin's wedding). My funny Halloween suit is completely inappropriate. I go into my walk in closet and dig frantically for anything that might be dressier. My mom, having seen the bridesmaids too, comes in to see me. She's worried too. I decide that since I have a few hours I'll just go shopping for a real wedding dress at David's Bridal.

I am watching a nature TV show with my brother. There's a shot of a large iceberg, and as the camera moves in, animal sounds can be heard coming from a sort of cave under a ledge of ice. I wonder how a wolf pup could have gotten himself separated from his family and found himself there. But when the camera gets to the animal it turns out to be even more strangely, a lion cub. The show follows the young lion as he makes his way south, his mane growing in as he moves toward warmer climates. I wonder if he'll remember the deep cold when he sits under the hot African sun.

A Working Riot

I am in some sort of court setting. There is a man there with silver hair who is accusing the government of all sorts of conspiracies to harm the people. I keep trying to point out that bad things are more often the result of error prone human beings making crappy decisions out of fear and self interest. He makes more inflammitory comments and a riot erupts. Someone points a rifle at me. I run out of the building (along with lots of other people). A division of my husband's company is down the street. I see two people with rocket launches aiming at the building I'm running toward. For some reason they don't make contact. I get inside the building and ask for my husband's boss because I know he speaks English (am I in another country?). I also hope that my smattering of German may help me communicate, but everyone seems able to speak English. Someone is giving me a tour of the place. I comment on the fact that the building is exactly the same as the one where my husband works. They tell me they do that on purpose so workers moving from one location to another have an easier time. The man who caused all the trauma in the first place is in the building too. He keeps trying to engage me, and I keep leaving the room he's in before I scream at him. Not only is he an idiot, but he seems amused that he's started a riot, a riot at which my life was threatened.

Waking Up Male

I wake up and find that I'm a man. I am in hiding from someone or something, and this is the disguise I've been given. It is only temporary. I am delighted at the strength and power of my new body. I flex my muscles a lot. I roll my shoulders, swinging my arms and marvel at the feeling of taking up so much space. And being entitled to that space. It occurs to me that I should be testing out the equipment below (just for the purpose of science, of course), but I'm in a hurry and don't have time.

Moving Shipwreck

My parents are moving to Beaverton OR. I am moving with them. At some point it troubles me that I am still living with them and this upheaval in their life means an upheaval in mine since I am 35 years old. The moment passes quickly. I’m mostly excited because I have friends who live in the Portland area, and I’m hoping to see them more often after we move. I’ve also had employment issues that I hope will be resolved after we move.

There are two people in a small dingy, adrift at sea. A Japanese ship is in the area and hears something on the radio about survivors of a wreck. They are on an important mission, but when someone on the crew sees the tiny boat, they stop and pull the two people aboard. They are given food and water and warm clothes. The Japanese intercept another boat and hand the shipwreck survivors off so they can move onto their mission. The boat sails into a remote part of the ocean with no intention of ever seeing land again. They detonate a small nuclear device aboard their ship killing themselves and unknown to them, a small pod of whales. The pod of whales had just begun to recover from near extinction a few years prior.

Note: the second dream was viewed and narrated more like a movie than a dream, a strange style for me.

Strange Friendships

I am looking for a job. A woman from a temp agency has left a couple of messages on the phone about some jobs. One of them sounds really interesting – working retail at a new jewelry store that’s in my favorite part of downtown. I don’t call about the job; it’s too late or too early or the weekend. I go to that part of town to wander around, try to find the store. I run into my old friend from college, R. She wants to catch up but is super busy. I follow her back to her place, a studio apartment in a business district that she’s turning into a jewelry store. She’s the person looking for someone to work in her new store. Her jewelry is lovely, and I tell her I’d be honored to help her get on her feet.

Note: R turned out to be a terrible friend, and I can’t imagine that I would be happy to see her in real life. The “downtown” is the same one I’ve dreamt of many times before.

Neighbors and Best Friends

I am visiting my parents. I find 5 little girls outside with no one watching them. They are around 2 years old and have linked their arms. They seem more like dolls than real children. A few of them are missing their shorts. I am very concerned. My parents tell me that their sitter is next door, spending the afternoon with the man who lives there. She’s done this before. I am appalled and indignant. Against the advice of my parents I take the girls next door. The man answers the door, and I tell him that these children are his girlfriend’s job, a job she needs to take care of. He invites me inside, but instinctively I refuse. He seems charming enough. He smiles at me and reaches for a shotgun. I begin running for my parents’ house as he casually loads the gun. I dive for my parents’ front porch as he shoots at me. He misses. I tell my dad to call 911. He hesitates but does what I ask.

I am at a job where I work in a cubicle. Some friends and coworkers come by to talk excitedly about the vacation we have coming this week. I knew it was a long weekend, but it turns out to be an entire week. We talk about finding cheap, last minute flights to places far away from there. I find an odd little airline offering round trip tickets to the East Coast for $300. I trip is strange. The plane is quite small, and the pilot comes back to chat with us a few times. As we approach the Rocky Mountains, one woman is panicked, pointing out to the pilot that we aren’t flying high enough to clear the peaks. He laughs at her and says his plane can’t go that high, he’s got to swerve around them. The woman looks like she may be sick. He tells her he’s just kidding and goes back to the cockpit to adjust our altitude. We land on some small, island airport, what I imagine Martha’s Vineyard must be like. My friend P has sent a car to pick me up to take me to her house. She’s busy with something and won’t be home until later, but her husband is there. I’ve never met him before so it’s a little weird. My son is with me, but he seems to be more of dog than a child. I clean up, get ready, and wait for P to get home. We’ll go get our other friend V at the airport together. Her flight, from another part of the country, lands much later. When P gets home I hug her and weep.

Garden Snakes

I am outside, sitting in a chair, reading a book about gardening. I am imagining all the wonderful things that I could do in this yard. I look down at the ground around my chair and notice a snake curled in the grass. The author of this book never mentions snakes in her garden. I decide I don’t really want to garden. I carefully get out of the chair so as not to disturb the snake. I walk toward the back porch. There is another very big snake stretched out in the grass between me and the back porch. It scares me, but I avoid it. My mom is on the back porch, and I tell her that I’ve decided I don’t want to garden.

Note: I am actually reading a book about gardening at the moment.

Betrayal

I am married to a British aristocrat. I was not part of his social circle and find the people I have to socialize with a little off putting. All the other women are having affairs. I meet a man who tries to seduce me, but I can’t cheat. I love my husband. I am swimming in a gorgeous pool, all marble and fancy statuary. My husband is waiting for me at the edge of the pool. I prop myself up on the edge of the pool and know I’ve made the right decision because of the way he looks at me. Then I find out that he’s had an affair. I flash back to meeting him. We are both dressed for Halloween and traveling on a train. On chance we have both dressed as Robin Hood characters. We stand facing each other, his large hunting dog between us, grinning. We find a private spot on the packed train, and talk the entire night. I am emotionally devastated. I go to some concert by myself and run into an old boyfriend in the parking lot. We talk until the place is almost empty then he tries to rape me. When my husband gets there, he seems unfazed, perhaps he thinks this is my way of covering up my own affair? I am filled with sorrow.

Notes:
So many of my dreams lately have been about love and betrayal.

Actors and Flying

I am on the set of a game show. There are 3 contestants, 2 of whom are actors from the show Numb3rs. I am curious about why they’re on this show when they have good jobs so I ask them. It’s almost as if they forgot about the show they work on. The woman mentions that she would like to see that night’s episode of Lost at one of the screenings (this apparently happens at movie theaters because of the popularity of the show). I’m not familiar with the town we’re in (none of us are), but I leave the taping to see if there’s a movie theater close by. I’m in a downtown area that’s seen better days but is trying to revitalize. There is an old movie theater, but it’s closed and there are some homeless men lying about. There is a dress shop with a sign advertising that they carry Zac Posen. It seems unlikely in this little town that there would be designer clothes. I go into the store and tell them about the actress who might need a dress tonight. They assure me that they’ll be open. I get in a car and drive down the freeway a bit. I see a large, modern shopping mall that seems to have a movie theater. I take the exit. My car is a tiny thing, like a Mini or maybe smaller. I can drive the car into the mall, there is a specially marked lane. I drive to the movie theater entrance and ask about the Lost screening. They are sold out for the early showing and are taking reservations for the 10pm showing. I get the phone number and tell the man that I will call him back if the actress decides to come.

I am with another woman, a new friend who is an actress (the dream seems related to the last one, but this is a different actress). We swap stories about an actor that we’ve both worked with, although my friend is shocked when I tell her how long ago it was that I last acted. We get into a small square of stiff material; it’s a sort of basket for some sort of hang glider thing. There are lots of them, and everyone is trying to lift off at the same time. Once we get going it’s quite delightful. We are moving along a road set in from a cliff. There are signs of camp sites along the road where some scouting group has been recently. I risk riding a thermal over the side of the cliff (it’s not terribly high); the river below is gorgeous and the feeling is amazing.

Love and Mountains

I am quite in love with one of the guys in my group of friends. He has recently acquired a girlfriend who lives in another town. She comes to visit. The group of us decide to haze her a little, doing one of the crazy things we do. We are hiding somewhere next to a wedding reception. We explain to the new girl that at the beginning of the reception we run from our hiding place, up to the food table and steal a grilled cheese sandwich (is this a normal wedding reception food in this place?). She seems game for it. Then we explain that we do it naked. She’s delighted and thinks it sounds like fun. We all wiggle out of our clothes and one at a time, make a break for the reception table. We meet up on a patio outside far from the wedding, giggling like children and eating our grilled cheese sandwiches. I am still sad. This new woman seems to be fitting in fine. I get on a space ship in search of a place I can go to heal my sorrow. In my ship the computer gives me a couple of alternatives, but I don’t have access to language files for the first two. I end up at the third planet. Not long after I land a woman comes by and tells me the best place to go to heal my sorrow. There’s a woman in France (the map looks similar to Earth but is still significantly different) who can help me. If I don’t find her, I should go to a tribe in the Sudanese Valley (someplace between our India and China) for help. I go into a store to buy a lipstick. There are a number of women deciding on a color and buying this same lipstick. They are all quite rude to each other and me. I buy a color that makes them all sneer at me. I glide it on, and it looks lovely.

I am with my mom and my Aunt N, driving. We go by what used to be a mine on the side of a mountain. I tell them about my fantasy to turn an old mine like this into condos, modern spaces cut into the side of a mountain where the rock can act like as an insulator. My mom says she could never live with cold rock floors and walls. My Aunt N thinks it’s a great idea. When we get to the house, we are all getting ready to go shopping. My dad and brother and Q are there. My mom looks really cute in capri pants and this neat little jacket. I only have two pairs of shorts and a few shirts to choose from. I look a bit sloppy. My hair is very long and blonde. When I put on one shirt that exposes a bit of my stomach I am shocked to find that I’m much thinner than I imagined. I end up in white shorts and the Betty Boop t-shirt I had in high school.

A New Love

I am in love. Crazily, madly, giddily in love. I am spending the weekend with my lover. I’ve had feelings for him for a long time, but we’ve only recently started dating. I have a terrible time packing to leave because I can’t stand the thought of leaving. I take a plane home. It lands with a thud, and I’m momentarily afraid that we’ve crashed. I go to my parents’ house where I’m meeting my brother for a weekend long party (our parents will not be there). When I get there the only person at the house is a guy I haven’t seen since high school. I didn’t know he’d be there. It’s not lunch yet, but he’s already been drinking and gets sick. We laugh about it. Two more people from high school show up as well as some of their dogs and some of my brother’s friends. We have fun trying to figure out where everyone is going to sleep. The next morning we laugh at one of my high school friends who slept on the couch – he can’t sleep late because the rest of us are already awake and chatting in the living room. There is a big discussion about dogs and cats. My brother asks me to call the man I’m in love with about something. No one knows about us yet. I go to the dining room where it’s quiet to make the phone call. I go back to the living room a couple of times to get my cell phone (for the number) and my notebook (to write down any information I might need). I’m stalling. I want to talk to him, but I’m terrified. I’m afraid the weekend with him was, well, a dream.

A Movable Maine

I am going with a friend to visit her new house, which she has bought sight unseen. It is on a small island off the coast of Maine although Maine seems to have relocated to the Pacific Northwest. We have to ride this strange boat that requires a strange move to go from one side to the other. The woman piloting the boat makes us practice before she’ll leave dock as she doesn’t want any of us to go overboard. We also have to cross a couple of foot bridges that dip underwater and also require special moves to cross safely. We finally get to her house. It’s very green (New England green, not Pacific Northwest green), but I wonder out loud about the weather in the winter. My friend will be quite isolated. She doesn’t care. There are a number of cats around the house, most of them feral. For some reason I think one of them is Manhattan, but when I get closer to it, it hisses at me and I realize it’s not him. There are also 3 or 4 Chihuahuas living in the house. They all look a bit odd. There are all sorts of clothes and such still there from the previous owners too. I also wonder about the bugs, of which I’ve seen many.

Bathrooms and Math

I’m in a public bathroom. I need to pee and to put toilet paper in my panties because I’m bleeding and have no tampon. The stalls aren’t very tall. I get into a stall and two men with someone in a wheelchair come in. The person in a wheelchair needs to go to the bathroom (is it a woman? is that why they’re in the women’s bathroom?). One of the men is looking over the stall wall and talking to me. He thinks my stall is big enough to practice basketball in. I’m burning with anger and humiliation.

I am talking to a woman about the show Numb3rs. She’s a mathematician but has never heard of the show. She’s fascinated by the prospect of a popular show revolving around math. Obviously she has no TV. I invite her over to watch the show. Our apartment (Michael and I are still married) is in NYC. It is quite small and cluttered. The woman comes over at 7, but I’ve forgotten that prime time in NY starts at 8. The TV is old, and we don’t have cable. I am turning the knob to change the channel, looking for the show when I realize that it’s still too early. All the channels have black and white reruns or movies on. We decide to chat until the show comes on.

Crabby Neighbors

I am walking the neighborhood with my son. I’m eating a Terry’s chocolate orange, and he is eating a chocolate raspberry. We come to a house where a woman is outside with her young child. We stop to talk. Her husband is a farmer, and I tell her about my husband’s family, the connections we have to farming. She seems nice at first, but it soon because obvious that she’s no longer interested in our company. Yet I can’t seem to stop talking or make myself leave. Eventually we walk away.